November 1, 2014 § 2 Comments
Over the past several months a few of us have been studying the book of Genesis together. Within these magnificent opening pages of the unfolding story of God and His people is a narrative of events in which many decisions turned out quite differently from the presumed outcome at the time – like when Lot, rather than defer to Abraham (then Abram) opted to live in Sodom, leaving his uncle with second choice. That didn’t turn out so well for Lot.
Throughout my life I have made more decisions than I could ever have imagined possible – some good and others not-so-good (yes, horrible!). The crazy thing is that many of those bad decisions initially appeared to be the right ones, and some of the good ones began questionably.
We just don’t know, do we?
You have to love the new LeBron James video (Nike) about his decision go back to Cleveland (below).
Regret is a powerful emotion. It is also deceptive. It has a way of twisting the past into something it never was, and of shaping the present into less than it can be. At the end of the day, all of us bear the scars of our unfinished and imperfect pasts. Regret adds shame to the mix.
What is even more insidious is that it is born of the notion that we are somehow in control. I know this is true because every time regret works its way into my inner space, it comes with the diluted idea that I actually possess the power to shape my own history and write myself into a perfect story!
Can you hear how twisted this is?
Hey, this isn’t to say that our decisions don’t matter – they do. And we have every reason to learn from our past. We can’t grow at what we do, and how we relate without honest and sometimes brutal evaluation. Part of this involves the humble acceptance of owning and bearing our responsibility. But anything we do outside of the loving embrace of God will always warp itself into a cruel tyrant that owns us from within.
Here is the thing: In the gospel the storyline is never the savvy of unfinished Christ-followers. It is always the character of the Father who weaves all that we are, our bad and good decisions, our deep regrets, even the seasons we would just as soon edit out of our stories, into something far lovelier and better than we could ever have conceived on our own.
At the end of the day, regret is the enemy of grace, because it is a subtle and not-so-hidden refusal to believe that God can turn the wreckage of our pasts into something beautiful. Or that He wants to…
This may be why I love Peter the disciple. It is in hiding and shame over his deep failure and betrayal that the resurrected Jesus meets him at the height of his regret, and reaffirms to him that his life is far from over, and that he is His.
How sweet is that… such good news.